Pandoras very own white room
by Pandora3
Summary: Pandora (Finally!) gets her Authors Licence, some mystical Authors Powers, and decide to mess with the ADORABLE *Squeal* LotR-characters and screw their lifes up by trapping them in a white room. Please note that this is not, will not, be a MST. Okay? NOT
1. A visit from a limegreen goddess

@Pandora's very own white room!@  
  
(1/?)-"A visit from a limegreen goddess"  
  
By: Duh! Pandora, of course!  
  
Category: Humour/Humour!  
  
Rating: PG-13 (A few swear words, some vivid and graphic descriptions, but not ALL too much…)  
  
Summary: Due to finally receiving an authors licence, (Or rather, stealing one!) Pandora decides to have some fun, by trapping poor innocent people in a white little room. However, she has no intentions at all to make them read MST, no, no, not at all. Pandora has something completely different in mind…  
  
Authors note: This is because I have always wanted to have my very own "white-room-where-you-can-trap-poor-characters-from-all-around-the-world"! And, because I wanted to. So there. Anyone who gets completely annoyed and bugged out by this: Well, Pooh on you!  
  
Disclaimer: This is the disclaimer that never ends, it goes on and on for eternity, my friends, one author started writing it, not knowing what it was, and she'll continue typing it forever, just because…That's my fav. Disclaimer right now, and no, I did not come up with it, it's all too funny to be my work! Seriously, it's Starbrat that made this thing up! You ought to read her work, you really ought to!  
  
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"Woohoo, I made it, I passed!" A female figure bounced out of an empty classroom, shrieking in a very shrill voice. In her hands, she clutched a little white card, where it said 'Authors Licence', in big, red, letters. She danced around, holding it high above her head, and earning herself both odd stares (The ones who didn't get a thing), envious looks (The ones that didn't pass) and cheerful congratulations and claps on the shoulders (The ones who already had passed). The female "now-an-official-author", smiled with tears of happiness shining in her eyes. She then proceeded to bounce out of the school (After getting her stuff) down the sidewalk, up he stairs, and in through the door, to her apartment. She bounced into her room, bounced out of it again and setting course towards the kitchen to grab a lil' snack (of course, she started up the computer, before she went off). After eating two cold pizza slices, and shoving the rest of them into the micro wave, she happily bounced into her room again, and, deciding the neighbours were probably very irritated with bouncing already, walked over to her chair in front of the computer, and calmly sat down. Immediately opening up 'Words', she eerily began to type…  
  
' "Woohoo, I made it, I passed!" A female figure bounced out of an empty classroom, shrieking in a very shrill voice. In her hands, she clutched a little white card, where it said 'Authors Licence', in big, red, letters. She danced around, holding it high above her head, and earning herself both odd stares (The ones who didn't get a thing), envious looks (The ones that didn't pass) and cheerful congratulations and claps on the shoulders (The ones who already had passed). The female "now-an-official-author", smiled with tears of happiness shining in her eyes. She then proceeded…to…to…'  
  
The Author-to-be (Yes, you have to get SOME practice first!) thoughtfully bit her lip, and sighed. It was harder than she thought to be an author. Sighing, she closed the document down, and threw it away. This was getting her nowhere. Sighing deeply again, she sadly thought about moving her butt from the chair, and getting the pizza slices, with the hopeful thought that maybe they could help her out a little. Just as she got up, the screen went black. The author (A/N: Now this is certainly getting boring. From now on, we'll just call 'Author', Pandora. Okay?) Pandora frowned. She was not a whiz at technology (A/N: HEL-LO! But seriously, everyone knows I'm not a whiz at anything!) but she definitely knew the computer were not supposed to behave like that. The screen flared over into a lime green colour, and suddenly, the poor auth- Oh wait, sorry, I forgot: PANDORAS room, went dark, as something clouded the windows. Now, some people…okay, most people, would scream loudly, try run away, and probably faint, but as I already said, Pandora is not a whiz at anything. So she did it all.  
  
"Hello?!" Came an annoyed voice from the screen. After a few minutes, the person…thing…PERSON on the screen finally reached Pandora's mind, and her eyes fluttered open. She frowned. She thought she heard a voice.  
  
"Ah, now that is much better!" With a yelp, Pandora flew up from the floor and dived into the wardrobe, only to emerge a few seconds later, with a frying pan in her hand, and a hockey helmet squashed down on the head. She looked around wildly a few seconds, and then, trying to seem scary, but only looking like a big wuss, said in what were supposed to sound tough, but only coming out shakily:  
  
"Don't come any closer, I have a…a…" Here, the author looked up to see what it was that she really had, and suddenly felt very depressed. Therefore, she continued in an even more shaky and pathetic voice, "I have a frying pan, and I'm not afraid to…use it…" The person sighed tiredly. That caught her attention, and she looked wonderingly at the screen. And for the first time in what felt like ten minutes, Pandora noticed the person, who was right now crossing her arms and tapping her feet in a very annoyed manner, and she walked closer.  
  
"Who…W-Who are you?" She asked, stunned.  
  
"Well, now, that is a very moronic question, I must say."  
  
"Uh…No…" Pandora said slowly, not even sure of what 'moronic', meant. The person sweatdropped, and once again, seemed very annoyed. Then she seemed to gather herself up, and did an attempt to a cheery smile, which only came out even more scaring.  
  
"Oh well, in that case, I am Minnie." Pandora still does not understand a thing. Person…err, Minnie, seem to get very sad, since she sniffle and sob, all the while muttering something about 'stupid, moronic missions', 'stupid, moronic authors' and something else that was apparently also very stupid and moronic. Once again, person seem to gather her wits, and do another scary attempt to smile cheerily.  
  
"I am the goddess of fanfiction, the stimulating of imagination." She then said, to the still-not-understanding Pandora. (Muttered under breath: "But you seem to need a stimulation of the brain. It's a wonder you even remember to breathe.")  
  
"Uh…Okay…And you are doing WHAT on my computer…? I mean, doesn't goddesses belong in heaven, or something like that?"  
  
"Well, yeah, normally, but I accidentally crashed into Tolkien's throne and broke a leg on it, and to punish me, he threw me out for a while."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. But, when can you come back?" Pandora did not question the fact that Minnie-the-goddess-in-a-limegreen-dress-who-were- right-now-inside-her-computer, (A/N. PHEW!) just called Tolkien God because of two things:  
  
a) In Pandoras world, Tolkien IS God.  
  
b) Minnie didn't seem to be up for discussing the matter at the moment, so Pandora decided to leave it be. See, some brains I got!  
  
"I just have to help hundred authors who just got their Authors Licence to write something really cool."  
  
"Cool!" Minnie sighed. She knew she should have chosen that girl in Japan instead. That would have been so much easier.  
  
"What number are you on?" Pandora then continued.  
  
"99." Came the short reply. Pandora 'oooh'-ed, and 'aaah'-ed for a while, as Minnie once again, got the sinking feeling that yes, the girl in Japan would have been so much easier.  
  
"So, then you're kinda like a muse?" God, this girl was slow.  
  
"No, I am not a muse, I am just here to give you some goddamned powers so you can use characters from all around the world, and torture them in your fics. So there." Pandora thought for a moment, before grinning widely.  
  
"Okay!" She cheerily agreed. Immediately, a limegreen light filled the room and enveloped her gently, and when it was gone, then so was Minnie. She looked around, not sure if it had all been some kind of scary, wicked daydream her bored-out-of-her-mind brain had spit out. Feeling quite silly where she was standing, frying pan still in her hand, and hockey helmet still on her head, she shrugged and decided to give it a shot. Logging on the now shutdown computer, she expected to see the usual Legolas background, but instead, a white window appeared. In it, it said: 'What are your orders, kerdir?' Pandora did the only natural thing. She squealed with joy. Quickly, she started typing in: 'Move characters to white room.' And pushed enter. Another question appeared. 'Okay. Which characters?' Pandora thought hardly. Yes, which characters? 'The main characters from…' Her fingertips hesitated over the tangents, before resolutely typing the words out. 'The main characters from LotR.' She pushed enter again, and suddenly, her screen was turned into something very much alike a TV. She could see the white room, but it was empty! She growled. Something had obviously gone wrong here.  
  
"I knew it was too good to be true, I knew it!" She muttered. Then suddenly, eleven very annoyed-looking Tolkien-characters fell in, and landed in a heap on the couch. Pandora did a double take. Eleven characters? And then she noticed that Elrond and Galadriel, for some reason had followed. Pandora squealed happily, as she began to run the possibilities about this whole thing over and over in her head. She decided she was going to be utterly thankful to Minnie the next time she met her.  
  
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That's it from me today, hope you liked, there will be more, and I am utterly, completely late for school. Bye! 


	2. Hello, I'm the author!

@Pandora's very own white room!@  
  
(2/?)-"Hello, I'm the author!"  
  
By: Duh! Pandora, of course!  
  
Category: Humour/Humour!  
  
Rating: PG-13 (A few swear words, some vivid and graphic descriptions, but not ALL too much…)  
  
Summary: Due to finally receiving an authors licence, (Or rather, stealing one!) Pandora decides to have some fun, by trapping poor innocent people in a white little room. However, she has no intentions at all to make them read MST, no, no, not at all. Pandora has something completely different in mind…  
  
Authors note: This is because I have always wanted to have my very own "white-room-where-you-can-trap-poor-characters-from-all-around-the-world"! And, because I wanted to. So there. Anyone who gets completely annoyed and bugged out by this: Well, Pooh on you!  
  
Disclaimer: This is the disclaimer that never ends, it goes on and on for eternity, my friends, one author started writing it, not knowing what it was, and she'll continue typing it forever, just because…That's my fav. Disclaimer right now, and no, I did not come up with it, it's all too funny to be my work! Seriously, it's Starbrat that made this thing up! You ought to read her work, you really ought to!  
  
**************************************************************************** *******************  
  
This was not good, Aragorn decided. Definitely not good. He sighed. Today had seemed to be such a good day, and it HAD been a good day, until he had ended up here. Where were here, anyway? He looked around at the white walls, white ceiling, and even, surprisingly enough, white floor, while he tried to detangle himself from the heap of hobbits, elves, one wizard, and one dwarf, that had landed on him. As he moved, a rib cracked tentatively. He groaned. That was going to hurt later on. In the room, there was an absolute silence, as everyone moved away from the floor. Legolas finally spoke up.  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
"I seriously have no idea." Gandalf said simply. Then suddenly, an evil cackle filled the room.  
  
"Well, my dears, that is just too bad, now is it? But you see, I now where you are." A voice yelled from somewhere. They all clapped their ears, at the voice loudness.  
  
"Oops, sorry 'but that, I'm just gonna adjust the speakers!" Pippin suddenly jumped up, and pointed an accusing finger, to, well…where ever he just assumed the person speaking was.  
  
"I know who you are! You are one of those fanfiction authors, who keeps on torturing us!" He yelled, spinning around as he did so, since he after all wasn't really sure on exactly WHERE the author was, and thought that he had better to point everywhere. The voice chuckled.  
  
"Very good, my dear. Perhaps you aren't such an idiot as some people might think." Gandalf suddenly felt very pointed out.  
  
"Well, everyone calls him a fool, don't blame me!" He screamed frantically. Everyone looked at him oddly, then just shrugged their shoulders. The voice quickly decided to ignore this little outburst, and move on.  
  
"Well, a fanfiction author I am. And you, my dears, are here to amuse me."  
  
"Wait, let me guess, a goddess named Minnie, gave you the power to bring us here and torture us?" Merry said ironically. The voice squealed.  
  
"Yes! She did!"  
  
"The next time I'll meet Minnie, I'll chop her in little, tiny slices with my axe!" Gimli growled angrily. Elrond finally said something.  
  
"All right, lets just get this over with. I have been in the hands of many mad fanfiction authors before, and maybe this one is reasonable!" Another evil, and very scary-sounding, chuckle echoed through the room.  
  
"But then again, maybe not." Elrond then added.  
  
"Okay, what do you want us to do?" Galadriel said in a defeated voice, tired as she was of being stuck there.  
  
"Oh, we are just going to play a fun lil' game. But first off, how about introducing ourselves, eh?"  
  
"But, we already know each other." Boromir said. The voice seemed to get a little disappointed at the statement.  
  
"Oh…Well, in that case, I am Pandora!"  
  
"Hi Pandora." They all chorused, since they knew that things like that made authors very happy, and a happy author were always preferable. And they were right. Pandora DID get very happy. She squealed. Which was not a very good idea, since her speakers still were on quite the high volume, and…well, you get the picture.  
  
"Now, we are going to play hide and seek."  
  
"WHAT?!" The more mature members of the group exploded, while the hobbits actually cheered and yelled 'YAY/We get to play hide and seek!/I wanna hide in a cookie jar!/No Pip, you can't hide there!' and so on. The voi…Pandora, did not seemed to be changing her mind due to the wild protests from everyone except four little one-metre-people-with-big-feet, who all seemed to agree that Pippin absolutely couldn't hide in a cookie jar ("He is too much big for that!" Sam divided. "Well, yes, but if he would be on a diet for a few weeks, then maybe he could…" Merry optimistically thought. "No, no, no. Pippin cannot, and will not, hide in a cookie jar, unless WE squish him in!" Frodo interrupted Merry and ended the whole conversation with this strong argument.) Everyone else groaned in annoyance.  
  
"I decided that…Pippin, is not allowed to hide in a cookie jar, 'cause I do not have one, and Galadriel is seeking. Now, hide!" Pandora finally got tired of quietly gazing longingly at Legolas, so she just sped things up a little. The more mature members still didn't think this was a good idea, but since they didn't think that upsetting the mad author that so effectively had captured them in the palms of her hand, they decided putting up with, and going along with all the humiliations, was the best way. The hobbits just cheered and 'yay'-ed in their own little hobbity way, as they frantically searched for somewhere to hide. The others just sat down on one of the couches (White, mind you!), that for some odd reason which was beyond them, was there, while Galadriel reluctantly, after a glare around the room (They still didn't know where Pandora was), began counting.  
  
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Well, I am definitely out of ideas. But I have lots of authors block. It's up for grabs, just 2$!… Anyone?… At all? *Sigh* Didn't think so either…oh well, see ya in next chapter, Cheers, and Ja Mata Ne! //Pandora 


	3. Cheerios!

@Pandora's very own white room!@  
  
(3/?)-"Cheerios!"  
  
By: Duh! Pandora, of course!  
  
Category: Humour/Humour!  
  
Rating: PG-13 (A few swear words, some vivid and graphic descriptions, but not ALL too much…)  
  
Summary: Due to finally receiving an authors licence, (Or rather, stealing one!) Pandora decides to have some fun, by trapping poor innocent people in a white little room. However, she has no intentions at all to make them read MST, no, no, not at all. Pandora has something completely different in mind…  
  
Authors note: This is because I have always wanted to have my very own "white-room-where-you-can-trap-poor-characters-from-all-around-the-world"! And, because I wanted to. So there. Anyone who gets completely annoyed and bugged out by this: Well, Pooh on you!  
  
Disclaimer: This is the disclaimer that never ends, it goes on and on for eternity, my friends, one author started writing it, not knowing what it was, and she'll continue typing it forever, just because…That's my fav. Disclaimer right now, and no, I did not come up with it, it's all too funny to be my work! Seriously, it's Starbrat that made this thing up! You ought to read her work, you really ought to!  
  
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The main characters from LotR, were not feeling well. In fact, everything were rapidly going downwards for them, and had J.R.R Tolkien himself seen how the people he had created were suffering, he would probably have banished the demon author to hell. But, seeing that J.R.R Tolkien did not decide to grace us with his presence, the show must go on! (And will probably go on, too!) After playing hide and seek for two hours before the stupid voice was happy, and left them alone for a while as she went for some sleep ("But tomorrow, we'll play more!") and after that, well, everything went down the hill. Legolas crouched in a corner, mumbling something about how the game had stirred some horrible, scary memories that he had repressed and buried deep with in his mind, Aragorn did a very throughout examination of the white couches, and ended up sawing the legs off on one of them, three of the hobbits were still debating whether Pippin would fit in a cookie jar or not, and Pippin himself, had fallen asleep in another corner. Galadriel and Elrond had gathered in a third corner to discuss the national encyclopaedia (A/N: What? If you're bored, then you're bored.), the fourth, and last, corner were occupied by Gandalf and Gimli, who argued over the best way of take care of ones beard (A/N: You ought to listen to Gimli, Gandalf. I mean, he's beard is so fluffy and all.). Boromir had sat down and leaned against a wall, crossing his legs in a very "Buddha-like" manner, as he mumbled his mantra over and over to himself ("I am NOT a blue carrot. I am a human, and pink bunny slippers do NOT want to eat me. I am NOT a blue carrot…"). Therefore, no one noticed Aragorn's little couch mishap, so he quickly hid the four sawed-off legs under the carpet. (White, mind you!) Whistling innocently, he then walked over to Boromir and joined him, and even though he really doesn't believe in this religious stuff, he "borrowed" Boromirs mantra and said it a few times, just to be sure. Basically, things were okay, and under control. As much control as one can have when being trapped in a white room belonging to an evil author. So as I said, everything was okay. But not for long.  
  
"Cheerios, my little sweet hearts!" The cheery voice had returned from her all-too-short rest (Gasp!). A chorus of groans answered her. The author sighed, this was not going her way at all! All the other authors that had trapped innocent characters in a white room, never had any troubles with getting their persons to obey! Just her luck to get people who got cranky just because she trapped them in a white room, forced them to do everything she said, and they couldn't escape. Oh please. That's nothing!  
  
"You guys are no fun!" Pandora complained in a whiny voice, and pouted. Everyone snorted.  
  
"Well, let us out of here, and we'll be a lot of fun! Oh wait, too bad you won't be here to se that! And do you know where you will be? You will be lying on the floor in little tiny slices, as soon as I get out of here, I swear!" Gimli then roared, with a sarcastic undertone, before doing a little "shake fist-spin-shake fist-spin"-thingy from his and Gandalfs corner. Author was not happy. Author was very angry now. No one yells at author and gets away with it. Not even a person from her favourite book.  
  
"Listen, red-head, dwarves stink!" It was the best Pandora could think of for the moment. But it had the expected effect.  
  
"Yeah, that's right, dwarves stink!" Legolas, who had finally gotten over his bad child-hood memories, and left his corner, yelled without realising he in one breath managed to  
  
a) Agree with the enemy, and  
  
b) Insult Gimli. Everyone glared at him, while Legolas just smiled a 'happy- go-lucky'-smile and lulled over to a couch and sat down, still smiling very happily. I just realised that the last sentence makes absolutely no sense at all. Or at least I think so. Anywho, Pandora decided to ignore Gimli, and just move on. Since she realised that killing him would not do good for the Tolkien storyline, she found it best to just leave him grumbling crankily in his corner, and concentrate on the others.  
  
"Okay, here's the thing. Galadriel, you are going home. You are just plain boring." Galadriel fainted out of joy, but before she touched the floor, she disappeared with a flicker. The others just looked very disappointed (Legolas had stopped smiling.).  
  
"And, you're getting company!" Pandora then continued happily. The others looked at each other in horror. This was not good. Pandora wasted no time, and immediately typed the orders in. In a few seconds, Anakin Skywalker, Audrey Coates, and Anna sat on one of the couches, and blinked confusedly. As I said, this was really not good. Then, Anna saw Aragorn, and with a joyful squeak, threw herself over him ("OMYGOSH, YOU'REMYHERO, ILOVEYOU, IWUVYOU, IWUVYOU!") she cooed, and clinged even tighter to his shoulder, as Aragorn discreetly tried to pry her off. Audrey said nothing, and did nothing, except that she looked at Anakin with little hearts in her eyes, which made Ani not a little nervous. Then, she caught sight of Legolas, when he went to help Aragorn out.  
  
"LEGOLAS!!!" She yelled, and launched at him. Legolas was a little quicker than Aragorn (He was, after all, an elf) and seeing Aragorns terrible fate, he quickly ran. Audrey then proceeded to chase Legolas all around the room, yelling ("Here elfie, elfie, here elfie, elfie") all the time, which she in her wacky world believed would make Legolas stop. It did not. And neither did it stop Audrey, to Legolas horror.  
  
"Audrey, that's enough, lay off the poor man now." Pandoras voice boomed down to them. Audrey and Anna (Who were still plastered to Aragorns shoulders) didn't seem to be the least bothered by the fact they were trapped in a white room. They had probably been in this situation like a hundred times, so this was no biggie.  
  
"But he's so sweet!" Audrey complained a little and pouted, but she then sat down on the couch without legs.  
  
"Okay everyone, these three are going to stay for a while, so be nice! Now, I am going away for a while again, so toodles!" After saying this, Pandora smiled (even though none of the others could see it) and shut the computer down. Falsely whistling "The Star Wars Theme", she happily bounced against the kitchen again, this time for breakfast. Down in the room, Aragorn was still desperately trying to get Anna off of him, Gimli and Gandalf were still standing in the corner, eyeing the new ones warily, Boromir was still muttering his mantra where he sat leaned against a wall, Pippin (who was still snoozing happily) had gotten company in his corner by three other hobbits, who all decided not to try their luck and maybe get tackled by the girls, and Legolas had reluctantly let Audrey hug him, and braid his hair, but it was under protest.  
  
"Legolas, is it okay if I take a lock of your hair? It's so pretty!" She enthusiastically asked him. Legolas softly began to cry.  
  
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Tolkien, this was short! And it sucks…Oh Tolkien, I am soooo running out of ideas…*sigh* Oh well, next chapter will probably be out soon…as soon as I have written it, of course…//Pandora 


	4. Attack of the annoying fangirls!

@Pandora's very own white room!@

(4/?)-"Attack of the annoying fangirls!"

By: Duh! Pandora, of course!

Category: Humour/Humour!

Rating: PG-13 (A few swear words, some vivid and graphic descriptions, but not ALL too much…)

Summary: Due to finally receiving an authors licence, (Or rather, stealing one!) Pandora decides to have some fun, by trapping poor innocent people in a white little room. However, she has no intentions at all to make them read MST, no, no, not at all. Pandora has something completely different in mind…

Authors note: This is because I have always wanted to have my very own "white-room-where-you-can-trap-poor-characters-from-all-around-the-world"! And, because I wanted to. So there. Anyone who gets completely annoyed and bugged out by this: Well, Pooh on you!

Disclaimer: This is the disclaimer that never ends, it goes on and on for eternity, my friends, one author started writing it, not knowing what it was, and she'll continue typing it forever, just because…Seriously, this is J.R.R Tolkien's sand box, and I am just playing with the sand that fell out. You can too!

To the reviewers: 

DarkPhoenix- I am very grateful for your review, and please stay on with us! Okay everyone, a big hurrah for te latest reviewer, 'kay? (Everyone 'hoorays')

Uruviel,Lorien's Maid- Excuse me, is that a flame, or what? If so, then I have a few things to tell you. One, this is just a story. And if I really am harassing Legolas, then no one is forcing you to read. I am doing this thing for FUN, you see? NOT REAL, you get it? Good. And for your information, people like Gimli! I like him, he's cool! (Once you get over the thing about him being a Dwarf, that is…) So if you dislike my work that much, then I have a simple advice for you: Don't…READ! …*thinks for a moment, then quickly adding:* But do please review! Oh, and everyone, this chapter is going to get kinda odd, which you prolly already can see, but I have tried everything, and there was nothing I could do about it, it just got uploaded that way. Hopefully you will be able to bring some sense into the mess. Anyways, cheerios m'little darlin' sweethearts! *laughs merrily*

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Things were, if possible, going even more downwards. Legolas had returned to his corner in a desperate attempt to escape Audrey, and nothing the rabid fangirl said could convince him into coming out again. In the end, he eventually got fed up with her pleas, and promptly shoved a brown paper-bag (That appeared out of nowhere) down over his head (And over his ears specifically!) so he couldn't hear her. Or at least he pretended he couldn't hear her. But, as you all know, elves have very keen hearing, and the poor, blonde elf-prince from Mirkwood, was no exception on that. Which of course was very unfortunate for him.

"Please, Lego? Please? For me? Please? I'll give you a cookie!…Come out now, or I'm going in!" The fangirl rambled, switching between begging, tempting and threatening.

"NO!" Came the angry answer, a little muffled by the bag.

"And don't call me 'Lego', my name is Legolas!" He added, almost as an afterthought. The second the words came over his lips, he wanted to bite his tongue off. But it was too late. The fangirl were already doing a cheery little dance around the room, while chirping:

"He said something to me, out of free will! My Lego said something!" The others barely gave it a glance. They had just met, but they already knew Audrey and Anna well enough to realise that this was normal behaviour. Oh well, why don't we leave Legolas and Audrey for a while, and take a look at the others, shall we? Yes, we shall. Good dog, back to the plot line!

Aragorn had given up on getting his shoulder back, so he had just sat down next to "Ani" on one of the couches without legs, and did his best to pretend he did not have an Anna plastered on his shoulder/neck/back. Which is not an easy thing to do, but he did anyway. Sam, Merry, and Frodo eventually got tired of Pippin's snoring, and woke him up, which highly annoyed him ("Really, I do not snore!" "No, of course not, and Sam's not the ringbearer!" "HMPH!" "Eh, Merry, I AM not the ringbearer, that's Frodo!" "Oh…yeah, that's right! Sorry Frodo!" "HMPH!" "Hey, stop HMPH-ing at me, I can't help it's so easy to forget you!" "HMPH!" "Oh great, Merry, you just opened your big mouth again, congratulations!" "Oh, shut up, Pippin…Besides, you snore!") and they then quickly explained the current events for him. Which inevitably made Pippin freak out and begin to look for a cookie jar (A/N: You think I'm driving that thing too far?) to hide in. After convincing him he really needn't to hide in a cookie jar (Partly because he wouldn't fit, which of course made them restart that argument) the four hobbits reluctantly emerged from their corner. As soon as the characters two squealing nightmares caught site of them, they immediately abandoned their current victims.

"Hobbits, hobbits, hobbits!" They chanted in perfect unison as they swept over the frightened little men. The hobbits first plan to follow Legolas excellent example and run, were effectively destroyed by the shaking of their knees. Never had the hobbits been this afraid, not even when meeting with the many scary things that had been crossing their ways during their journey, and they could all have sworn that fangirls were really the spawns of Satan. Set to the earth just to torture poor, poor, characters. Oh well, even though I, the author, feels almost, ALMOST, little teeny-weeny-itty-bitty bit sorry for them, there's really nothing I can do. It's not like I can stop it or anything. Gees, what do people nowadays expect of an author anyway? Ah well, I think I can bear the Tolkien-characters temporary discomfort. It'll only do them good, anyway. But I digress. I do that a lot. I'm guessing – and hoping – that you haven't noticed it. But I guess that would be to ask for much, huh? See? Here I go again, digressing away! AAANNYWAY, I'm going back to the plot line now, just so you know. So it wont be a shock when you realise I'm for once writing something that makes sense. (A/N: See? Digressing again!) 'Neways, the poor one-metre characters used their last, natural, defence. Look extremely cute.

"Pweeeease don't hurt us!" Pippin said, smiling his most charming smile, and, seeing he had an opening to his left, bolted the second later. The three other hobbits joined him, as did the fangirls, and after chasing the hobbits around the room for half an hour, hug them extremely, nag a little more on Legolas (Who by the way *STILL* refused to come out), and plaster back onto Aragorn's shoulder/neck/back, it was really no wonder the poor fangirls were exhausted. Not to mention the main characters. What a great time for the cheery voice to pop in.

"Heeeello, my little dearies!" When she met no answer, the cheery voice continued to speak anyway.

"Are we feeling well today? Well, I certainly am!" As she still received no answer, the cheery voice suddenly turned into "not-so-cheery" anymore. In fact, Author was suddenly sobbing.

"I…try so hard…(sniffle) make everyone…(hiccup) happy…and…(sob)" And the rest of the sentence was drowned under the sound of her crying. The characters now suddenly began to feel worried. A happy author was bad enough. Were they now supposed to deal with an unhappy one, too?

"Ah…um…don't cry!" Frodo said wearily.

"Great Frodo, was that the best you could do?!" Merry hissed from the side.

"Fine, why don't you try then?!" Frodo hissed back. Merry glared at him, before taking a deep breath.

"Now, Miss, listen here. We're all very unhappy that your sad, but…" The author just kept on crying. Now Merry was beginning to look very nervous. It was obvious he wasn't really making any progress. He decided to give it one more go.

"Ah, miss?" The author tears increased. "Ah…um…don't cry!"

"Why…(hiccup) not?" The author finally said.

"Because…um…well…or else I'll also be sad!" Merry finally managed to think of an answer. Suddenly he realised what he had just said, and groaned as it would do no good, and, even worse, his words was only variations of Frodo's! Merry felt deeply depressed when thinking that He, Meriadoc Brandybuck, Heir to Brandy hall and future Master of Buckland, that had never had any problems with talking to lasses (That's how he sees Author) before, now had to use variations of his cousin. He looked miserably to the side, and saw Frodo smile smugly at him from the corner of his eye. Pippin suddenly lit up, as if he had gotten a great idea. (Pippin? Great idea? Get outta here!)

"Miss Author, have some cake! That always make me cheery!" Pippin said happily, and suddenly remembered he hadn't gotten his Luncheons that day, and so he went off to the refrigerator that suddenly appeared in "his usual" corner. Meanwhile, as the main characters was busy with cheering Author up, the two fangirls had managed to catch their breath, and make up an evil plan. They had sneaked up on Legolas, grabbed his sensitive elven-ears, dragged him out and off to a chair, and bound him there. They were now happily high-fiving and congratulating themselves to the successful plan. Meanwhile, Elrond Half-elven, lord of Imladris, one of the elves last dwellings, possessor of one of the three elven rings, had, after Galadriel's departure and the new-comes arrival, decided the corner was boring, and then had proceeded over to the couch and sat down next to Ani. Ani did not understand a thing of what was happening, and he hadn't gotten a single clue of who the people around him was. This, of course, freaked him out. Now, both of them were happily looking at Legolas getting tortured by the fangirls. They were petting him, feeding him, painting his nails with pink colour, painting little hearts and stars on his face with not body-paint, but *nailpolish*. And, horrors of all horrors, they were they couldn't get it off again. But, what was even worse, they were brushing his hair, and making nice little (In their opinion!) braids in it. Legolas hung his head. This was T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E. H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E. Absolutely U-N-A-C-C-E-P-T-A-B-L-E. But, being the wise thousand-year-old being with pointy ears that he is, he of course realised there was nothing he could do about it. Soon enough though, Elrond and Ani lost interest in looking at the girls and Legolas, and so they went on to just sitting in a bored silence. Elrond finally turned to Ani.

"So…" he began.

"Yes…" Ani answered.

"Do you think we should…?" Elrond was of course with this meaning Legolas.

"…Nah…"

"So…"

"So…" They both said, none of them being able to figure up something to talk about. A long silence occurred, before:

"Well…have you ever read the national Encyclopaedia?"

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Well, that's that, and now I'm going to bed. Nighty! //Pandora (Insert doodles and other silly drawings here) oh, and won't you be a nice little hobbit and make Mr. Button (And me!) happy by pressing him? And then, while you're at it, do be a dear and make your keyboard a little happy by writing a few words on it, please? Great, thank you! Mr. Button and Mrs. Keyboard are both extremely pleased and happy! You will get a good inundation. See ya!


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